All Or Nothing At All
by Lady Dudley
Summary: For avikingandhisheartbrokenqueen: After Season 3, Pam demands some answers.


**A/N: avikingandhisheartbrokenqueen sent me the prompt of Pam wanting to know more about Eric's family/past from Season 3. This is set right after the last episode of that season, it didn't turn out quite as lighthearted/fun as I was intending, but I hope you still like it! It's also loosely related to my other story 'Secrets' and has a slight reference to S5/6. The title is from the Frank Sinatra song of the same name :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_**All Or Nothing At All**_

"_You can be a cold hearted bastard sometimes."_

Eric grimaced at the memory of her words as he made his way to her bedroom, knowing that she hadn't meant his treatment of Yvetta. She'd been angry with him for keeping aspects from his past a secret from her, but when she realised that he'd always meant to sacrifice himself with Russell she'd been livid.

He had barely seen her in over a week and, for the first time, he wondered whether by not telling her the whole story he'd been protecting her or himself.

His own words came back to haunt him: _"Everything ends, even the immortals."_

He just hoped _they_ weren't about to end.

"Unless you're willing to give me answers, you can f*ck off," Pam spat from inside the room, breaking him from his reverie.

Eric raised an eyebrow and found himself fighting a smirk as he stepped into the open doorway. "I hope you don't kiss your Maker with that mouth," he commented drily.

Pam didn't even move from where she sat at her dressing table. "I think my Maker should count himself lucky if I ever kiss him again," she shot back pausing briefly to glare at him in the mirror as she continued to apply her makeup.

"That's a little dramatic, don't you think?"

Pam shrugged a shoulder, feigning nonchalance, "Dramatics appear to run in the bloodline," she replied sarcastically.

Eric sighed, "Pam…"

"You should have told me," she said flatly.

"You would have tried to stop me."

"At least I would have understood _why_," she snapped.

Eric looked away, "It was very painful for me, Pam," he explained quietly, "I just wanted to put it behind me."

Pam's eyes narrowed as she turned to face him, "Do you think I don't understand pain?" she hissed.

Eric's eyes snapped to her face and he resisted the urge to step back as he felt the intensity of her fury. Her fangs dropped as she continued to glare at him and for the first time Eric felt something like fear in her presence.

"I told you everything, Eric," she reminded him as she slowly stood up, "_everything_. And you don't think that was _painful_?" She bared her fangs at him with a snarl, "I thought I could trust you, that we could trust each other."

Eric felt his own temper flare at her accusation, "Of course I trust you," he snapped, "but do you really think I wanted to burden you with even more grief? I have had centuries of carrying it alone," he continued in a calmer tone, "and I know you, Pam, you would have ignored your own pain to try and lessen mine. I couldn't let you do that."

"So you decided to tell me nothing?" Pam demanded, resuming her seat with very little grace and retracting her fangs.

"I'm your Maker, Pam," he said gently, taking a step into the room, "I have to do whatever it takes to protect you."

Pam crossed her arms, "And that makes it all right to tell me everything except what's important?"

"You knew everything else about my family, why did you need to know the depth of my loss?"

"Because I told you of mine!" she roared, startling them both with the ferocity of her reaction. "I told you things that I thought I would never share with anyone," she added in a more subdued tone, "I thought you trusted me enough to do the same."

Eric took a tentative step towards her, "There is no one I trust more," he swore.

Pam gave an unladylike snort, "Whatever," she said dismissively, turning back to her mirror.

Eric frowned, "Don't shut me out."

"Why? Is it too _painful_?" she taunted, leaning forward slightly to fix her mascara.

Eric pursed his lips, "I have told you everything you need to know, but there are some things that aren't mine to tell."

Pam paused to consider his words; setting her mascara carefully aside she turned around slowly to face him.

"Keep something like this from me again and we're done," she told him levelly.

Eric eyed her, assessing her conviction.

"I mean it," she promised.

Eric nodded slowly, "I accept your terms."

Pam gave a brief nod and turned back to the mirror. Eric watched her resume applying her makeup, inwardly cursing himself as he considered the colossal risk he'd just undertaken.

For the first time the cost of protecting his sister seemed too high but there was nothing he could do, he'd sworn an oath to his Maker.

He'd just have to hope that when – _if_ – the time came, she'd understand.


End file.
